My First Shower

It was our last class of the semester tonight. We had our final presentations (which I was forced to go last!) and then my wonderful classmates threw me a little shower. It felt funny to have a shower already because I'm not even showing, but it is our last class together ever. They gave me a big box of tiny little diapers, wipes, bath stuff, a gift card, a cute little maternity outfit, and The Very Hungry Caterpillar hard cover book with a couple matching teether/rattles. I also got Belly Laughs by Jenny McCarthy, which I'll probably start reading tonight. They bought a cake and some juice, which was delicious and I'll probably eat some more tonight as well. It was all so wonderful and I am so thankful for all of it. It was really very nice of them. I love little baby stuff and it makes me so anxious to have this baby.

10 Weeks

Our baby is the size of a kumquat, a little over an inch and less than a quarter of an ounce. There's little nails forming on the fingers and toes (what, no more little webbed hands and feet!?!) and peach-fuzz hair is beginning to grow on the skin.

Today marks the first day in weeks that I've had some relief from the morning sickness and nausea. I switched my prenatal vitamin to bedtime instead of taking in the morning. I don't know if it's a coincidence or not, but I'll take it. The last several weeks have been miserable. In addition to the severe exhaustion, I have been throwing up on a daily basis. I have tried everything. The ginger ale worked for a few days. I've tried to stay away from the foods the doctor says is more likely to make me sick and then I've gone in the opposite direction. While I still don't have much of an appetite, I feel wonderful. I woke up with a bit more energy and not a lot of nausea. I experienced it slightly through the day, but almost unnoticeable compared to what I have been experiencing. It almost makes me worry that something is wrong. I was prepared to be sick for a few more weeks. But I'll take it, even if it only lasts a day.

I'm not showing but you wouldn't know it with all of my bloating. You might look at me and say, oh what a cute baby bump, but nope, it's just wonderful bloating fatness you're looking at.

Hey, but other than that, this pregnancy is great! No really, even through all of this, and especially as I read one of my many pregnancy books, I feel overjoyed at the thought of this life growing inside of me. I cannot wait for the day that I get to meet this little person that Michael and I have created.

1 Week Down

It's the end of another week. One week closer to being done with school. One week closer to Michael coming home. Jeremy (my brother-in-law) came over yesterday evening to mow our yard. It did such a nice job and even did the trimming. Although the doctor says it's okay to mow the lawn, Michael still didn't want me too and apparently Jeremy is in agreement. It was very generous of him to spend a good portion of his evening here, and it's probably just the first of many. I will be forever grateful for his help and everyone's help that I will receive this next year.

While it was nice to have him mow the lawn, it was difficult at the same time. All I kept thinking was, this doesn't look right, it should be Michael on the mower, and Michael doing the trimming. It made me really miss him. For the most part, I am doing okay. I know the first part is the hard part, but there's still little triggers that set me into miss my baby mode. That was one of them. The other day in line at the store I was looking at the front cover of the newspaper. Another unit in Indiana is deploying and there was a picture of a soldier hugging his wife and baby good-bye. It was hard to see, although it's an image I've seen so many times before. And it could be something little, like seeing a couple ride down the road on a motorcycle that will make me think of him, of us.

I thought about not writing about this. It's depressing, who wants to read this? It's hard to even just type some of it. But this is my life right now. These are my thoughts.

But it's not all sad, more like a roller coaster. There are still people finding out about the pregnancy and it's such exciting news to share. And the dogs are wonderful. They play and they're so cute together. And Benny is so good. It's unbelievable how good he is. He is happiest when he is curled up next to me on the couch. Last Sunday I spent most of the day curled up on the couch with both of my fur babies. It was wonderful and lazy and I loved every minute of it. I think the only struggle I have with them is trying to make them eat their own food.

Michael Starts Mobilization

Well, Michael left yesterday evening to start the mobilization process. It was extremely difficult to say good-bye. It's hard still just to write about it now. I know it will get easier and it's always the hardest at first. Good-byes just suck no matter what. We just keep telling each other that we can't get the deployment done until we get it started, so let's get it started. Jaime invited me to Thunder over Louisville tonight but I'm going to stay home. I think she's afraid of me becoming a hermit during all of this. I won't. I have so much to catch up on around the house and I have to go into school to get my plans ready for next week. I also just want to rest and be by myself. Just this weekend.

So, the mobilization schedule looks like this: He'll be at Muscatatuck Training Center (about 30 miles south) until the end of May for pre-mobilization training. He'll get a pass for a few days and then leave to Ft. McCoy, WI for mobilization training. He'll be there until he flies out around the beginning of July. They will probably get a 3 or 4 day pass at the end of June and so I'll drive up there to visit him.

Our Big News

Well, we're finally "officially" announcing the news, we're having a baby! We were going to wait to tell everyone until I was further along, but we're just so excited it's hard to keep it in. We told immediate family initially but now it's to the point where Michael is telling people at the gym. Plus we had our first doctor's appointment today and everything looks good so far. I'm 8 weeks along. Baby has a strong heartbeat (179bpm) and is 1.97cm long. I guess baby is the size of a bean. So cute! When I show Michael pictures of what the baby looks like he thinks it looks like an alien. We also had an ultrasound done while we were at the doctor. They like to do a first trimester ultrasound but it wasn't scheduled for today. I explained our situation and told them that this was going to be the only doctor's visit that Michael will be able to come to and so they fit us in. I was so grateful. I got a little teary eyed when I heard the heartbeat and Michael was just in awe. So now that you know the news, let me back up and tell you the story from the beginning.

I'll try and recap this in a condensed form. About a month ago I got really, really sick. I went in to the walk-in. They wanted to do a pregnancy test before they prescribed any medicine. All I could think was, go ahead-it will come back negative. To this point we have been used to getting a period every month that we just didn't think it was going to happen. I honestly thought there was a problem and that we would just try again when Michael comes home for a few months and then see a specialist. So when the doctor came back in and told me I was pregnant, I was shocked. I just started crying. I was in such disbelief that I didn't know what to think. Michael was still in PA at the time for his training and wasn't due home for four more days-a very long four days. The doctor had said that the test came up very faint and I should test again in a week. Well, I tested again that morning Michael was to come home and it came up positive right away. We took another test the next morning (both of us still not believing it was actually happening!) with the same results.

So this past month since Michael has been home has been a baby whirlwind. He wanted to be a part of as much as he could before he leaves. We've been shopping and registering. We bought a crib and dresser/changer combo. Michael put it all together. Last Friday when I came home from school I went up there and he had it all set up with the bedding in the crib and the mobile and everything all put together. It was so cute. We picked up the car seat/stroller this week as well. It feels funny doing all of this stuff so early, but it was important for us that Michael was able to do that. I'm going to videotape everything so that way he doesn't feel like he's missing everything. And we're planning his 2-week R&R leave around the due date so he will be home for that if it goes as planned.

I have been experiencing fatigue and morning sickness. I've been saying that I never knew tired until now. I am just drained. The morning sickness kicked in a couple of weeks ago and it's been lovely. I'll spare the details. It has been a challenge student teaching with all of this other stuff going on. I'm about half way done with my last placement so I just need to finish this home stretch.

The Praxis II

Is the state teaching license exams that I took about a month ago. These are the tests that I have to pass in order to get my teaching license. I got the results yesterday and....looks like I'll be getting my license! I passed! It was such a good feeling opening up that document. I saw the scores but they didn't mean anything to me. I had to scroll down frantically to find out what I needed to pass. When I saw the numbers and a big fat PASSED next to them I was so excited. They were difficult tests and they took a long time to complete and I am so glad I don't have to take them again. So, we went out and grabbed a bite to eat to celebrate and then did some window shopping-our favorite kind of shopping.

Another Little Get-Together

We went down to Jaime and Jeremy's last weekend for a cookout. Some of Jeremy's family came over. They played some corn hole and the kids jumped on the trampoline. It was nice but the wind made it a little chilly so I stayed inside most of the time, eating. It was wonderful to see everyone and get together with them before Michael leaves. He always hates saying good-bye so when that time rolls around he avoids it like the plague...he'll keep talking or do whatever to keep from having to say good-bye.

We spent the night so we could go to church on Sunday. I really miss that church and we have yet to find anything even close up here. I know we're just going to have to settle for something less. Or I can clone Rev. Vickie. Service was nice. Jeremy sent a prayer request up for Michael and Vickie didn't realize it was our Michael until she saw us after the service. She said a little prayer with Michael before we left.

Lucas is understanding Easter a little better this year so it makes it fun to see him hunt for his basket. He kept talking about the eggs he found at the church hunt the day before and after church on Sunday he was determined to go outside and look for some more. He's so smart, he's a baby, eh-hem, big boy genius.

We went to Michael's parents for Easter dinner that evening. It was nice to see them again. The good-byes went okay there because Michael will see them again when he has a pass next month. That night driving home it finally hit me that he's leaving. I just started crying, just thinking about the fact that next weekend he won't be here. Or that he won't be here when I come home from school each day. I don't know if the magnitude of it has it me. It's hard when he leaves for 2 weeks, but this will be so much different. I'm used to saying, okay I got through the first week, now it's downhill.

I took off from school the rest of the week so I could spend little time at home with him. We don't have any big plans. We'll need to finish up some of the to-do list and then we'll probably just relax and enjoy each other's company before he goes. It's becoming more real even as I type this and I know each day closer to Friday will become a little more difficult. I dread the good-byes too.

The First Good-Byes

We had a party at Michael's parents on Saturday. It was a little sending off party and the first one. He was happy to see family but was not looking forward to saying good-bye. It was a nice time. His mom did a great job setting it all up. They set it up in the garage and it worked out perfectly. Everyone had a place to sit and eat-and there was plenty of food! I don't know if I ever stopped eating. I just kept munching all day. It's always nice when the whole family gets together because I get to hear stories from his mom and her sisters about growing up. And I love to hear the banter and tales from Michael and Christy (his sister) from their childhood. We brought the dogs and they did really well. We had to tie them up in the yard since it's not fenced in all the way around. They didn't seem to mind too much. Somehow at one point Sammy got under the fence (there's a fence that divides their yard and the farmer's field) and Benny decided to follow her right through the fence. He's so little I think he can just fit anywhere. After everyone left we watched movies and Michael and his friend worked on downloading movies onto his laptop. I took a nap. :) I think it's difficult for Michael the closer it gets to leaving and he's staying strong. I don't know that it's really hit me yet. I know that he's only home for 2 more weeks but I don't think I'll get upset until it gets closer to that time.