A Surprise Look at Baby

Ah, I've been ever so sneaky, with my wonderful plan! I was originally supposed to have my ultrasound at 21 weeks, which meant that the only way Michael would find out the sex would be over the phone. I was not happy with this. So I asked the nurse if we could do it at 18 weeks, she said yes, and so that's exactly what I did. I knew I would be going up to see Michael on his pass just a few days after, so it would be perfect. Jaime went with me to the ultrasound and videotaped. When it came time to finding out the sex, I had the technician put the photo in an envelope (not only did she do that, she put it in two and taped it shut!). After I picked up Michael from Ft. McCoy on Thursday and we got back to the hotel room, I told him I made a video that I wanted him to watch. He sat down with not a whole lot of reaction when it started and it was obvious that it was an ultrasound. I asked if he knew what was going on and he said looks like you went to an ultrasound, as if this is something that occurs often at the doctor. Then a look came over his face and he got really excited and said, this is to find out the sex! I grabbed the envelope and told him that no one knew what it was, that Jaime and I both turned our heads so we wouldn't find out. He was so excited he started ripping the envelope open. I asked him if he wanted to wait until we got to that part in the video, but neither of us could wait that long and opened it within a few seconds. There it was, B-O-Y. It was an incredibly emotional experience. He told me later he was so glad that we got to find out together. And although there was some lying to make my little plan happen, it was all worth it in the end!



The ultrasound itself was amazing. She pulled up the picture and found him right away. He was in a little ball so she had to do a little prodding to unfold him. Then she focused in and pulled up a 3D/4D picture of him! I had no clue they were going to do that as Jaime's doctor does not do that type of ultrasound normally. It was amazing to see him. One of the pictures even looks like he's smiling! I always thought they were a little creepy, but you can see the little hands face so much better. I'm so happy they did it. Nutter is so much more like a baby than he was at 8 weeks, the progress is just incredible. It makes the whole experience so much more real, seeing him and knowing he's a boy.

It All Happened So Fast

Things have been looking up the last few days. I thought to myself, things are really turning around. So I was in pretty good spirits this morning when I woke up. I decided to take the dogs for a quick walk this morning since I would be taking them to the kennel this evening. We didn't even get a half a block away before we had one of the scariest experiences on our walks. Now, our walks are usually an adventure, but this one doesn't even fit in that category. All I know is that we were walking along when these two big solid dogs come busting out of their house and attacked Benny and Sammy. It all happened so quickly that a lot of it is a blur. Somehow we got the dogs separated. Benny was okay and at first I only saw a small cut on Sammy's leg. But another neighbor who had come out to help found a gash in her shoulder. I took Benny back to the house and took Sammy to the vet. They had to put her under in order to suture her back up. And since I'm leaving in the morning they are going to keep her there until I get back so they can keep an eye on her and give her the antibiotics each day. Apparently the owners of the dogs are out of town and it's his sister that is dog-sitting. She must not have latched the door when she came outside. It was an honest mistake and she is very upset about all of this. I've talked with the owners and they are taking care of the vet bill. I have since learned that this is not the first attack, and these dogs have attacked not only other dogs but some people as well. It's just a bad situation and I hate that it happened. I wish I took them on a different route or at a different time and this wouldn't have happened. It makes me so upset that my poor little Sammers is not home where she needs to be, getting love from her momma. Both of them, actually. I'm sure this was traumatic for Benny too, as skiddish as he is. I'm eager to see Michael but I'm sad to leave them at such a bad time.

Becoming a Man

I just got back from taking the dogs for a little walk. While it wasn't a complete disaster, it never fails to be an adventure. Sammy's collar snapped off and she went flying. She stayed near me but found a cat sitting in a driveway. She started barking and ran up to the cat, got within a foot of it, but then just stood there barking. I was so afraid she was going to tear the cat apart. I don't think she knew what to do. She hates them but she is always on the other side of the fence. But I was able to get her before an altercation occurred. The big news of the walk is that Benjamin lifted his leg to pee not once, or twice, but three times! This is the first time that I've seen him lift his leg to pee and also the first time that he's marked territory on a walk. I knew watching Sammy lift her leg and mark her territory would show him how it's done.

I've noticed him acting a bit tougher too when they play around; he doesn't give in quite so easily anymore. I actually have to break them up a little more often than I used to. While it was a decision that was already made, Benny is losing his "manhood" next month. And just when he starts to become a man.

18 Weeks

Baby's skeleton is changing from soft cartilage to hard bone. The umbilical cord is also getting thicker and stronger. Baby is the size of a bell pepper this week, measuring in at approximately 5 1/2 inches long with a weight of about 7 ounces (that's almost half a pound!). Baby is busy flexing arms and legs.

The changes in Nutter don't seem to be as drastic as they were in the beginning. Now that most everything is developed, it just seems like this is the fine-tuning period--and growing! I'm in maternity clothes now, some still a little big to wear. And while I'm still fitting in my regular clothes (minus the waist) it's just more comfortable to wear those elastic bands. Plus I feel much more pregnant when I wear maternity clothes. My bump is also big enough now that I feel like it's baby and not just fatness. I asked the nurse my starting weight and she told me, but it didn't sound right. So when she walked away I looked at the chart and the only weight on there was from last month. So I don't know exactly how much weight I've gained, but since last month I gained 3 pounds-eek! I started feeling little Nutter moving around last week. At first I wasn't sure. I felt these "feelings" that I've never felt before (like the typical gas I often experience). As soon as I would feel them I would freeze, hoping for another feel. But the feelings come and go quickly and are faint. But since then I've been feeling those feelings a lot. It's a hard feeling to describe...most people say like little flutters...but it's weird, like a light movement that just grazes my insides. I had a doctor's appointment last week. Everything was fine, I guess. It felt very rushed but the doctor said everything looked good. Oh, and the pain in my butt isn't necessarily sciatic nerve pain, but is probably nerve pain, although I haven't felt it much lately. I've been feeling pretty good too. I haven't gotten sick in a few weeks, which is the longest time since this all started. I wouldn't say I'm back to myself because I don't think I will be until I'm not pregnant, I have those aches and pains and discomforts, but I feel really good.

A Good Start to the End

Of the month, that is. Looking back at my last post I was pretty excited to start turning things around, and so far so good. I finally got my hair done on Friday. This is something that is about a year overdue. I was going to let the color grow out but I just can't take it anymore. I like being blond. I was actually going to do it this spring-the same week I found out I was pregnant, and so I put it off until I started feeling better. It's subtle, but I like it and it work out well when I'm a busy mom and don't have time to "keep up" with it. It was also the first time I've ever gone to a man to do my hair, but I really like him-he owns the salon-and will probably keep going to him. Yesterday I went to the Louisville Zoo with Jaime, Jeremy, Lucas, and Jeremy's step-dad and his sisters and their kids. It rained most of the morning but even still it was a good time. Unfortunately the sun came out which made things extremely hot and sticky. It was so fun to watch the kids and see their reactions to the animals. I think they had the most fun though in the water park. By the end of the day the babies weren't the only ones exhausted. It was Lucas' birthday so we went back to the house for a cookout and cake. Lucas got a powerwheel from Jaime and Jeremy. He absolutely loved it! It was really cute to see him and his cousin cruising around the backyard on them. I got home late...the dogs crashed as soon as we got in the car and they're still sleeping now. I'm waiting for Jaime to come over now. She took the day off work to come up and scrapbook and we're going to get our nails done too.

Each day keeps getting better as the end of the month nears. The finale will finally be getting to see Michael this week. Yes, this week. Not a few more weeks or next week, but this week, and just a few more days at that. So I'll be busy packing and making sure the car is ready for the long road trip up to Wisconsin. A long trip, but it's going to be very worth it.

What a Week!

What a month, really. I've been on AT, working in the headquarters office. There's 4 people out on leave right and so it was just me, the readiness NCO, the first sergeant, and commander. Well, the readiness NCO had a death in the family so he was out almost all last week. So the phones were forwarded to my phone and I was basically keeping the building afloat. I did the best I could, and I couldn't do everything without access to certain things in the computer without a security clearance. It kept me busy but not my job and not what I thought I would be doing on AT. Although it was a lot, I didn't stress over it. I just thought I'd do the best I can. Besides, I had enough stress in other areas. My car wouldn't start last week, had a mess with the dealer to deal with, trouble with the other car, Benny has escaped the last two days (luckily he doesn't really know how to run away-he stays in the front yard the whole time), the stupid neighbors are still putting off fireworks and I keep finding pieces in my yard-usually Benny is chewing on one of them, and the much anticipated doctor's visit was not what I expected (waited an hour and didn't even really hear the heartbeat but a millisecond). On top of it really hitting me hard how much I miss Michael and how hard this is going to be without him for the next year, it just hasn't been a good month.

But I have a plan. From now on, I'm going to do things and get through things and know that I can. Yep, that's my plan. Last Saturday I mowed. Big deal, right? Well, Jeremy had mowed the last couple of times since Michael went up to McCoy; Michael wasn't too keen on the idea of me mowing. But I looked online and asked the doctor and it's fine. So instead of relying on someone to take care of my yard, I can-and will. It's just a good feeling to not be so dependent on others. Feeling dependent on Michael is one thing, but I just don't like the feeling with others. I would like to use the people around me to keep me company, not put them to work. I also asked the doctor about lifting things. He said my limit should be around 25lbs if I'm not lifting all the time, but that I won't hurt baby, I'll just be hurting myself. So my plan is really more a state of mind. Well, that and my list that continues to increase of stuff to do around here. I have a feeling I'll be plenty good and busy this summer.

Now that the bad things have gotten out of the way already this month, I'm ready to move onto good things...and I think it's already looking bright. I got my first two Netflix movies in the mail today (my grandma sent me a coupon for a free month and I thought I'd try it out). I was so excited-now that's good mail! I went to a CPR class last night, which normally wouldn't be that exciting, but I got to go out to dinner with Jill and see Brenda, who I haven't seen in months! So it was good to hang out with them again. And this coming week already has wonderful things planned. I'm getting my hair done tomorrow, Jaime's coming up on Monday and we're getting our nails done, I'm going down to the Louisville Zoo on Sunday for Lucas' birthday, out lunch with friends on Wednesday, and then the best part of next week--Thursday I leave for Wisconsin to see Michael!

Hide and Seek

The Toppes came up for family night tonight because they had to visit Jeremy's grandpa on Monday. After dinner Jaime, Lucas, and I played hide and seek. It was probably one of the best times I've ever played. He was actually quiet when hiding. This is unusual because normally when he's hiding and you call out, "where's Lucas?" he'll respond with, "over here" or "under the blanket". It is the funniest thing.

I've been taking Michael's car up to Atterbury everyday so that it's driven, but yesterday I took my car because I had to bring all my duffel bags to turn in. It started fine in the morning, but when I went to start it later, it wouldn't start up. I had to crank on and give it gas (I know now, it's fuel injected, blah blah) in order for it to start. It happened several times throughout the day. At the end of the day it started up just fine but then died when I put it in reverse. I was so upset. I'm frustrated with it on several levels. One, because it's not an old beater. It should be reliable and it seems like every year there's something going wrong with it. Two, because Michael's not here. As soon as it happened I wanted to call him up but I can't do that anymore. Jeremy looked up something online and found that a part had been recalled that might fix the problem. So I'm calling tomorrow to make an appointment. It's just bad timing with the trip up to see Michael right around the corner.

Well, I'm going to close for the night. It's raining and the dogs are sleeping and that looks like a wonderful idea. Of course after a little snack that is.

Boo, Fireworks

I'm trying not to be a party pooper, but oh my goodness I am so tired of the neighbors setting off fireworks. It started last weekend, and I thought, okay it's the weekend. Sunday comes and more fireworks, okay still the weekend technically. Now tonight they're setting them off again. I don't think I would mind as much if it wasn't for the dogs being terrified of the noise. Benny finally got the nerve to run out and do his business very quickly before running back inside. I think Sammy is trying to hold it all night. They cry at the door and run behind furniture. It's maddening. They won't even go outside if I go out with them. I tried to take them out to play since I'm down to one leash and cannot take them for a walk, but they wouldn't come out. So now I'm stuck inside with 2 scared but restless little dogs.

Okay, the leash story. I was taking them for a walk a couple of days ago. I stopped to clean up their mess at which time Benny ran around me. I somehow freed myself from the tangle with a nice rope burn on the back of my leg, but before I knew it Benny jerked and the line snapped. There he went running free just as a car, driving a little to fast if you ask me, came cruising down the road. I tried to wave to get them to slow down as I had no clue how Benny would react to a car passing by (Sammy likes to jump at them) but they chose to ignore me. Luckily Benny stayed put and then came to me when I called him over. It always seems to be an adventure walking the dogs.

I've been meaning to go to Walmart but somehow it just doesn't happen each night. I come home from drill and feel like I just need to rest. And then it's hard to get motivated after that. I need to keep going or it's too easy to stop. But I'm going to try and make it a point to go tomorrow because I need to get a new leash; they need their walk. My drill has been going well although I'm doing much more than I thought I would be doing. Not in my job description at all, but I seem to be running the building, or at least keeping it afloat. There are several soldiers gone due to schools or surgery and today my section sergeant left for a funeral. So tomorrow it's just me and the commander and first sergeant. The phone lines are routed to my line. I don't have access to everything in the computer system, but I am trying to take care of everyone that I can. It's definitely a learning process and a lot to do, but I am really enjoying staying busy. My days are going by quickly which is good because I still have a little over a week to go.

16 Weeks

Baby is now about the size of an avocado, about 4 1/2 inches long, and weighs about 3 1/2 ounces. The eyes have moved much closer together and the ears are now in position. At the start of last week the legs started growing longer than the arms. The eyelids are still fused shut but baby can sense light. The primitive air sacs in the lungs have begun to develop as baby moves amniotic fluid through the nose and upper respiratory tract.

Well, I thought by now, yeah 4 months in, that I would finally be able to write that I am no longer getting sick. I really thought it was going to happen too. I hadn't gotten sick in awhile and then last Thursday as I was settling into bed for the night an oh too familiar feeling came over me and I made it to the bathroom just in time. Although, if I continue to get sick every couple weeks for the rest of the pregnancy then that is fine as long as I don't feel like I did during the first trimester. I get more upset about the lost nutrients than anything else. The belly is continuing to slowly swell and I'm feeling more pregnant than fat. I love to rub my belly and talk to Nutter. I have a doctor's appointment next week. I have to remember to ask my starting weight as I have no clue what I was or where I am now. It seems like those first few weeks were a blur. I'm starting to feel the effects of pregnancy limitations. Not the things that I can't do but the things I shouldn't be doing. I have to give a second thought to lifting the dog food bags or the water softener bags. All the things that I just did before now I am conscious of and how much might be too much. So, I haven't been moving anything super heavy but if it's the size of a kid then I feel like it should be okay to lift, after all, what do mother's do that already have children? I went to the pool this weekend, and besides the exhausting laps, I think I got a little heat rash on the belly. Otherwise it's another pregnancy side effect that I am unaware of. The only other big change that I wasn't expecting to be difficult this early is the no sleeping on my back deal. I always pictured it being uncomfortable in the 9th month, but not the 4th. But it hurts my hips and my legs get cramps and then my shoulder starts to hurt. So every time I switch sides I wake up, very aware somehow that I cannot sleep on my back. I would have thought that I would just sleep through the night, unaware of my positions. Oh, and I also think I've been experiencing what is referred to as sciatic nerve pain, but I'm not sure (another question for the doc). I have a sharp pain in the middle of my right butt cheek at random times. It comes out of no where and can go just as quickly. It doesn't extend up my back or down my leg, just directly in my cheek. It seems to be most uncomfortable now when I sleep (that's when it is the worst and most uncomfortable). I am instantly relieved of all the pain when I lie on my back, but it is temporary as I roll back to one side. All of this and I don't feel that it's really begun yet...I'm not huge and uncomfortable! I am scared of what lies ahead. Will I look back at this entry at week 38 and laugh at myself and my petty complaints and say to myself, "What was I thinking? That was nothing!"

Okay, so it hasn't been the easiest pregnancy so far, and I'm sure it's bound to get worse. But, I love it. People say that it's all worth it in the end, when you hold your little baby. Well, I think it's worth it now. I love to look down at my belly and know that there's a life growing in there. I love to tell people I'm pregnant. I love to read the books and the baby websites that give me weekly updates on what my baby is doing this week. I cannot wait to meet little Nutter Butter and just thinking about it now makes me so anxious!

A Little Dinner and Shopping

Michael and I usually go out to eat on Fridays and more often than not it's Mexican. So today what am I craving? You got it, chips and salsa. I don't know if I just really wanted it or my body knew that it was Friday or what, but I decided to go out to eat. Yep, just me. This is something I don't think I've ever done. I geared up with a good book I'm currently reading (Handle with Care) and went to town. It wasn't too bad. I munched away on chips and read my book and except for the lack of conversation, it went okay. While I much prefer to dine with people (and it made me miss Michael because that's where we go/what we do on Fridays), I think this is something I might have to get used to doing this next year, especially when I want certain foods and nothing else will work. So now that the first solo venture out to a restaurant is under my belt, I feel like I can do it again.

Afterwards I decided to walk it off at Target. I wanted to look for some undies for Lucas. Jaime is still working on the potty training with him. I was looking for those underwear that feel like underwear but they're lined with plastic/rubber, or even the little plastic ones that go over the cotton underwear. No luck. Do they even make them anymore? I lingered in the baby aisles for awhile, trying to picture what it was going to be like to have the baby. I shouldn't go in the baby section. It makes me SO anxious for to meet this little baby. I did venture over to the maternity section and picked up a pair of comfy shorts. My goodness maternity clothes are expensive. I am going to go up to the outlet mall and see what they have there too. Although I don't need a whole lot, since I have clothes that were lent to me, but I just want a couple pieces of my own (and one super duper cute outfit for when I go up and see Michael at the end of the month).

It felt nice to get out and do a little. I started my annual training this week and so I'm getting used to waking up early again. I've been pretty tired each evening when I come home and so I take a little nap and don't do much around here. Yesterday I had a bad headache and so I laid down for a couple hours after work and even went to bed early. So today it feels good to feel good.

Family Night

Jaime volunteered to have family night at my house every Monday. I don't mind being volunteered for the cooking as it's nice to have some visitors in the house. I made a simple dinner, just some chicken with cheesy potatoes and veggies, and of course some brownies for dessert (which I'm going to dive back into). It was nice to have them over and to visit-helps make the evenings go back quicker. Although, I don't think Jaime is real fond of Benny, he still is excited and jumps when people come in the door. It's a process to train him and it a little bit slower going since there aren't a ton of visitors that come over. He's gotten pretty good with me, that or my tolerance is higher. I love to see my little Lucas too. We watched Chicken Little, which he's never seen before and seemed to like it.

Other than that things are going. Benny woke up in the middle of the night last night and puked in the bed. Not sure why but he seems fine. I don't know what it is with my dogs puking. It makes me wonder what they might be getting from the neighborhood kids. So that was lovely, but I'm used to dog vomit (not usually in my bed) and so it doesn't faze me too much.

I also finished up the paintings I did for the baby's room. They turned out okay. I think it will be nice to add a little bit of color to the walls. My projects around the house will probably be put on a temporary hold. I start my 2-week training tomorrow, so I'll be working up at Camp Atterbury each day. I feel like I have a pretty good start on the house projects so far and will continue them next month. It feels good to have a start on things.