Doctor Appointment--33 Weeks

I had another doctor appointment today. Usually I leave feeling pretty good, but not today. It's kind of put me in a sour mood all day. The baby is fine which is the most important thing; his heartbeat was good and my blood pressure is good. But I gained another four pounds in 2 weeks. The doctor said my overall weight gain was more than he had expected. It's not that I'm super concerned with my weight. I eat what I want and when I'm hungry I eat. I don't think I'm getting huge and I don't think my weight gain is affecting my health. But it's just something about someone making comments about the weight gain that doesn't set well. And then I opted not to get the flu shot. The lady at the front counter asked if I wanted it when I checked in. I asked if they were the preservative free kind and she said yes, so I said that I would get it. But when I doubled checked with the nurse before she gave it to me, so said it did have the preservatives in it so I decided against it. The doctor more or less lectured me about that decision. When I brought up the fact that pregnant women are not supposed to have too much fish containing mercury but then they want to give us a shot with mercury in it. He said the amount of mercury in the vaccine is so minute that it doesn't affect anything and that thousands of women get the vaccine. I've researched it on my own and feel that there are strong arguments on both sides. I just want to do what's right for the baby and I feel like there's so much weight on my shoulders with these decisions with no one able to give me a 100% answer. When I got home I talked to a friend that is an RN and she strongly recommends me getting the vaccine. I also talked to Michael about it and he said I should go ahead and get it. So now I'm thinking that I will go and get it and just pray that I'm making the right decisions. I've also been experiencing some sharp pains. It feels like I'm being stabbed on the inside. It's much different than any pain from the baby. I know when it's his kicks or he has a foot pushing against my ribs. I told the doctor and he felt my stomach and just said that it was probably muscles stretching and sometimes when his wife was pregnant the baby would push up on her side or ribs and cause her a lot of pain. Well, this pain is not baby, I just know it. It might be muscle pain but I just felt dismissed, as if I don't know anything. I don't know what I was expecting him to do, and it probably isn't anything major as I have no other symptoms of anything severe, but I just didn't feel good about the whole visit when I left. Maybe it's hormones, I don't know. And I know I'm only 33 weeks and I still have 7 more to go, but I think I'm ready to be done. Not sure if I'm ready for Nathan to be here yet and I know I want to keep him until 40 weeks, but I'm just getting tired. Tired of being tired, tired of the pain, and tired of doing this by myself.