Month 1-Part 3

Well, somehow I survived the first month. Of course I knew I would, but whew, it has not been the easiest month. And to think Michael was home for half of it! Eek! It is a challenge to take care of two children, neither of which can really care for themselves. The hardest part is trying to take care of one when the other one is screaming for me, which is almost always. Some days are better than others. Yesterday was horrible, meltdown after meltdown and Maddie was fussier than normal during the day, and then combined with minimal sleep for the last month and it's a break down and lots of tears. And then going to bed knowing that I will be up every 2 hours and the next day it starts all over again...

I have learned a new level of exhaustion, and by the grace of God, I am able to get through each day. I have said that He gives women something after a baby is born that allows them to function on very little sleep. It is a completely different experience having a newborn with a toddler. There is no sleeping when the baby is sleeping. And finding time to get everything else done that needs to be done is a whole other issue. But somehow, the kids are fed and the house is clean, well, somewhat. :)

I had my first (I'm sure of many) shopping trips with the kids, sans Michael. It did go better than I thought it would. I think the worst part was getting home and unloading. Nate thought it would be funny to run in the street, Maddie was screaming, and I had to unload all the groceries. But I did it and I'm a little proud of myself. It was my moment where I thought, I really can do this...and maybe even do it well...eventually. :)

But then I have days like today, not so bad. Of course there's meltdowns and tantrums, and there's always crying and poop to change, but not being tested all day long is good. Very good. Plus I love my cuddle babies, and now I always have at least one that wants to cuddle with Mama. I love the smell of Maddie and so-soft skin, her little fingers and toes. I love Nate's giggles and watching him learn new things, explore, and grow. And that's what keeps me going each day.